There are many of people I know that probably think “I spend time with my spouse; why do we need a date night?” Because it strengthens a relationship, just like when you were dating. There are many of things that a date night isn’t. It is not sitting on the couch, eating dinner, while the laundry is going and both of you are scrolling through Facebook or Instagram on your iPhones. It is not running errands to the grocery stores and the post office together. It is not a typical, every-day-of-the-week time spent together.
Date nights are intentional. And to others, it may look like something standard. That’s okay. As long as it is intentionally designed to get to know each other better, spend quality time together, and spend an evening investing in one another. The footprints that date nights leave in our hearts leave an immeasurable positive impact on our marriage for the long run. Did you know that making it a priority to regularly go on dates with your spouse can lead to increased satisfaction in your marriage?
Sometimes it is hard to prioritize. There was a time in our lives that Friday night did not work. We would be all geared to spend Friday night together, and then our friends called. We were competing our time with two things we really enjoyed. It put pressure on our date night to eat really quick, not spend the time investing, and then join our friends. There was also a period of time that Friday nights just got stressful. By the time we managed to get home from work, we would be worn out from the week and hungry. We never could pick on a restaurant or date spot, and ended up in bed by nine both still hungry and angry.
What we have learned now is to identify those times that Friday (or Saturday) date nights are not a part of our season. They just do not work. So they move to Tuesday night. Or Thursday. Or Sunday afternoons. And the intentional time began to flourish again.
There has also been times in our lives that date night did not fit into our budget. At all. The extra night out would just not work. Sometimes this meant going to a cheaper dinner and then skipping an event with friends. Putting each other above our relationships with our friends, which is hard. Super hard. But we both know that the impact is that much greater because we have made a commitment to each other. Other times this meant thinking outside of the box. Picnicing is much cheaper than going out to eat. Free movie night in the city? Hiking? Music festival? Art museum? We are lucky that St. Louis has so many free things to do, especially in the summer. But sometimes it takes thought, enthusiasm and being intentional.
What are your thoughts in dating in marriage? Have you tried it?
good ideas, Heather! dating is a challenge for us, too....we are always changing it up 🙂