If I was honest with myself, I am terrible at this. I do really well with the "wide" friendships. Those that have a surface level connection and multiple touch points throughout the year. Just enough contact to keep the friendships alive. However, I am not so great at the "deep" friendships, not in my adult years.
Yes, I have those friendships that are completely rooted in my childhood and I am so ever thankful for those. But because I had basically the same friends from kindergarten on, I did not really have to make many new friends throughout the year. Really the same eight girls and I ran around for years together. We graduated college and half of us had the exact same first semester college schedule. I have a friendship or two outside of this group, but until my twenties, I did not need much more. We alternated who was "best" friends with who and we traveled together, cheered on our sports team together, and took all the same classes from essentially middle school until graduation. We studied together, cried together, and laughed together.
A good chunk of that core group still lives in my home town and still hangs out, but since I live miles and miles away, I have learned that I am just not that great at making that type of friendships again. The one that is okay without your make up, pops over whenever, helps you clean your house and do your dishes kind of friend. I am still learning what this looks like to build these types of friendships.
I think Lysa TerKeurst said it best when talking about how adult friendships should look in my head...
I want the equation to be: make a friend, keep a friend. Live in a blissful place of fun connection. See eye to eye. Believe the best. Get along. Be nice. Collect hilarious inside jokes. And fight for each other always.
Wouldn't it be awesome in adult friends looked like this? Especially without much work?!
I remember a few years ago just begging and pleading with God to give me a good core group of girlfriends. I had friends but there were scattered. Some scattered by distance, some scattered by just their stage of life. We didn't align anymore. We would hang out and chat occasionally but nobody dropped by, nobody just hung out and watched TV at my house anymore. Through those prayers, I did find a "yes" from God. Kind of. I do not necessarily have a solid core group... and still nobody really just pops in to our home, but He has graciously given me some girls that I can wrap my arms around and cry to if I need. He has shown me His love by giving me ladies that will watch my baby when I need them to and hang out on a Saturday morning with Food Network and crafts.
Savoring these friendships is what I want to do in 2017. I want to savor my time with them. I want to soak up all that our friendships have to offer. I want to sit in their presence and appreciate every moment I get with them. I want to invest in them more and love them 1000 times over.
